Sodom & Gomorrah vs. Miami

In case you missed it (and the only way you could have is if ESPN is your primary source of college football news), the Miami Hurricane football program has been doing its best SMU impression over the last decade or so.  From cash, to prostitutes to abortions (yes, you read that correctly), a convicted felon lavished untold amounts of funds and flesh on the 'Cane program which could lead to the dreaded "death penalty" for Miami.

Seriously, it was so bad I bet when Barry Switzer heard about what was going on at "The U," even he went, "Are f*cking serious?!  Holy crap, that place is crooked."

Apparently, the illegal benefits started in 2002, making the 2003 Miami/Ohio State Fiesta Bowl BCS Championship Game probably the most tainted title game in NCAA history (sorry, Tosu fans, I'm just taking Mo' Clarett at his word).

As a Michigan fan, I don't really have a horse in this race except from the broad "integrity of the game" perspective.  But I did chafe when I saw an article on the scandal talking about what it saw as the problems in college football as evidenced by all the recent NCAA violations at big name programs such as Miami, USC, Ohio State...and Michigan.

Yes, because those are all so equal.  It's like getting lumped in with the Boston Strangler because you were convicted of a jaywalking ticket.  I'm reminded of the old Sesame Street tune, "One of these things is not like the others.  One of these things just doesn't belong..."

How bad were things at Miami?  Put it this way, there really is no comparison to other college football programs.  That's why we here at the MZone have compared their transgressions to the only places even close to what went on there: the biblical towns of Sodom and Gomorrah.

                                        MIAMI                                               SODOM & GOMORRAH

ILLICIT SEX:                     ✔                                                                     ✔

PROSTITUTION:                ✔                                                                     ✔

JET SKIS:                         ✔

ABORTIONS:                     ✔                                                               PROBABLY

TURN PEOPLE
INTO PILLARS                                                                                          ✔
OF SALT:                                                                                      

FREE TVs:                         ✔

ANGEL RAPE:                                                                                           ✔

LAP DANCES BY
BY STRIPPER                     ✔                                                                    
NAMED ANGEL:

GENERAL
WICKEDNESS:                  ✔                                                                      ✔

DESTROYED BY
THE LORD:                                                                                               ✔

ABOUT TO BE
DESTROYED BY              ✔
THE NCAA: