Ohio: Where honoring the disgraced is just how they roll

Not much to blog about with the Sugar Bowl still a couple weeks out and the holidays on the horizon...until I got the email below from MZone reader Megan:

Fallen Heroes


As a Michigan alum living in Columbus, the picture below is one of the many reasons why I love this city.


Enjoy!   It was like an early Christmas gift.

This is so...Ohio.  Didn't realize Fathead had a Disgraced Coaches section.  Who knew?

Why do I get the feeling that if Bernie Madoff had won a National Title or two for Tosu and had a winning record against Michigan, Buckeye fans would hang a wall-sized poster of him in their double-wides?

Damn straight it's a trailer park joke!

David Boston gets his Buckstache on!

You know, folks, with the regular season over, there's always a worry that there will be a lack of materiel to fill the MZone "pages."  But then I remembered, Wait a minute -- we live in a world where the next Buckeye scandal is just around the corner.  Case in point:

Most of you probably remember former OSU receiver David Boston who is best know for getting owned by Marcus Ray in the '97 M/OSU game and having said ownage immortalized on the cover of SI...

Well, Boston has a new, bigger embarrassment to add to his resume: Buckstache.

For those of you not familiar with the term (shame on you!) it refers to Ohio State fans, players and players-to-be busted for various run-ins with the law who all seem to sport various degrees of upper-lip-centric facial hair.

So what did Boston do?

According to this story sent to me by MZone reader SH:

Boston was charged with aggravated battery on Wednesday. Boston allegedly punched a woman twice in the head, leaving a gash that required 10 stitches."

One woman who lived with Boston (but was not the one beaten) said she witnessed Boston drink a bottle of vodka, a bottle of wine, and take some pills on Wednesday. Boston was supposedly set to move out into a nearby hotel.

What a gentleman.

And here's Boston rockin' the full bearded Buckstache for his mugshot...or should we say Buckshot?

MZone Picture of the Day: Super Sale in Ohio

Our pal BigAssHammm who, unfortunately, is trapped behind enemy lines, sent us this picture he took near Cuyahoga Falls, OH on Saturday.  We're guessing this display was full...until right after the Michigan-Ohio game ended. 

MZone Autopsy: That School in Ohio

I think I'm only now finally coming down off the high.  That game...that game...

That game.

I don't think I've been as nervous for a Michigan game since the '97 Michigan-Ohio State when the Rose Bowl and National Championship were on the line.  Crazy as this may sound, Saturday's game almost felt like it was more important for Michigan's psyche.  Personally, I don't think I've ever wanted one more -- nay, needed one more -- than the 2011 edition of The Game.

Had Michigan lost it would have been devastating.  Yes, there would have been no denying the strides made this year, but a loss would have gnawed at the soul for a long time.  Instead, Michigan's hard fought victory has turned the 2011 campaign into one that none of us could have realistically hoped for or imagined.  And back on the personal level -- it made blogging and Twitter a hell of a lot of fun over the weekend!

Now let's take one more look back at The Game that ended The Streak in...

MZone Autopsy: That School in Ohio

*  Don't let the close score in any way shape or form detract from the sweet taste of victory.   Some Buckeye fans are trying to taint the victory by saying this was the worst OSU team in forever.  And yes, many Michigan fans didn't just want a "W," they wanted retribution.  But this Ohio State squad was a team playing with nothing to lose, finally fielding a team with all its weapons, the most potent of all being desperation.

So this was exactly the kind of titanic struggle that the great mythology of this series demanded and deserved.  To understand why it absolutely had to play out the way it did, check out our post from yesterday, The Hero's Journey. 

*  The overturn of Fitz Toussaint's touchdown was one of the most egregiously bad replay calls I can remember.  What part of "can only result from indisputable video evidence" did those clowns not understand?!  It would have been criminal had Michigan lost after that.  When that TD was taken off the board, I started to think that Benny Oosterbaan must've been busted having an affair with the wife of somebody pretty high up in the afterlife because it looked like the fickle finger of football fate was about to f*ck us.  Hard.  I hope somebody questions the B1G about it (the replay call, not Benny Oosterbaan's sexually active ghost).  Seriously.  I really want to know what was indisputable.  There were two angles, one in which the ball was over, one in which it might -- might -- have been, what?, an inch shy?  Maybe.  But indisputable?  Hell no!

But don't just take it from some biased blogger.  Watch this video of Fox Sports refereeing guru Mike Pereira as he goes over the play and discusses why it was wrong.

*  Let the most recent chapter of The Game serve as reminder number 6,482 that Michigan-Ohio State must always be played on the last Saturday of the regular season.  Saturday's showdown left no doubt that the B1G's marquee match up must never be moved.  And if Dave Branding Brandon and Gene "See No Evil" Smith ever float the idea again of putting the game anywhere else -- as they did in 2010 which is why the MZone returned from cyber hibernation -- they should be immediately canned.

Ed. Note:  I still believe it was a colossal mistake to put U-M and OSU in separate divisions, but that's a debate for another time if the B1G ever expands again. 

*  By beating that school in Ohio, Brady Hoke just became the first Michigan coach to claim at least 10 wins in his debut season since -- wait for it -- some guy named Fielding H. Yost in 1901 (who won 11).

*  Brady's six B1G wins in his first season equaled the total conference games won during the three years of The Dark Period. 

*  Team 132 became the first Michigan team to ever go 8-0 at home in a single season.  And anybody who said they predicted that (beating ND, Nebraska and Ohio along the way) or that Michigan would win 10 regular season games this year, is a liar or a meth head.  Or a lying meth head.  

*  The 40 points Michigan hung on OSU is tied for the 4th most points Michigan ever scored against the Buckeyes and the most since putting up 58 in '46 (thought still a ways off from the record of 86 in 1902).  And that wasn't some hack-ass defense since, even after the U-M game, OSU is tied with Oklahoma for the 27th best scoring D in the land and is #23 in total defense.

*  Couldn't believe all the bitter tweets by Buckeye players immediately after the game.  From one guy saying he's "never going to lose to those scrubs again" to Boren (not Justin but Zach) claiming Michigan showed a lack of "respect" for The Game, to several other disparaging comments by others, it actually made them look bad.  I pictured them all sitting there on the team bus on their long ride home, heads buried in their smartphones, typing their tacky tweets while poor Luke Fickell sat up in the front, watching the rest of the CARS 2 DVD playing over bus' entertainment system.

*  In looking up some of the stats for this post, I noticed Michigan's captain in 1908 was Adolf "Germany" Shultz.  I guess in 1908 you could get away with that.  Nowadays he'd claim his first name was Eddie and go by "Shultzy."

*  Luke Fickell did a great job in a virtually impossible situation.  And I'm not just talking about the Michigan game.  All season.  But I was particularly impressed with how he handled himself in the post-game presser, when he was getting hammered with questions about his future.  He made it all about The Game.  Best of luck to him in the future.

*  As you know, Buckeye fans are waiting on pins and needles for Santa to deliver an early present for their team in the form of new head coach Urban Liar Meyer this week.  And some Michigan fans are worried such a hire will tip the scales back in the Bucks' favor after only one Michigan victory.  Well, if I may say something to those folks that someone may have tweeted in kinder terms over the weekend:  Sack. The. Fuck. Up.  This is Michigan, for God's sake!

First of all, those name hires rarely work out as well as hoped for.  For every Saban at 'Bama, there's a Dennis Erickson at ASU.  And I even seem to recall a "can't miss coach" being hired in A2 a couple years ago, a guy who'd won "everywhere he's been."  But that didn't turn out so well if you recall.

More importantly, let them have their Urban Myth.  It's great for the rivalry and we have Brady, for God's sake.  If this season has proven anything, that ain't too damn shabby!

*  Remember when Urban's daughter tweeted “HE IS NOT repeat NOT, GOING TO OHIO STATE" a couple months ago? Bad news: Daddy lied.

(Thanks to Andy for the picture!)

Know Your Foe -- That School in Ohio 2011

You know what I hate most about college football?  How fast the damn season goes.  I wait all year for it to start and then it's over in the blink of an eye.  But you know what I love best about college football?  Meeeeechigan vs Ohio State.  The Wolverines vs the Buckeyes.  Good vs Evil (I mean real, honest-to-god evil, not Pop Evil). 

Tomorrow marks the 108th edition of The Game.  And, even after the The Dark Period we just endured and The Streak which we're still suffering through, Michigan holds a 57-44-6 advantage.  But that you know, what you didn't know about the angry mob of f-bomb aficionados from that school in Ohio is found below in the final regular season edition of Know Your Foe.

Ed Note: After Thanksgiving and family, I started and finished KYF waaaaay too late.  Please forgive any typos.  I'm too tired to re-read before passing out of exhaustion.

History - The school was founded as THE Ohio Agricultural and Mechanical College in 1870 as a land grant institution.  Later that year, the first group of 24 students, including three women, started attending classes (while probably wearing "Fuck Michigan" shirts).  Like most land-grant schools of the era, an internal battle was fought to determine the mission of the school. On one side was the "narrow gauge" crowd, looking to teach subjects strictly related to agriculture and mechanical functions. On the other side was the "broad gauge" crowd looking for a more diversified curriculum that included liberal arts and sciences. As was the case in almost all of these land grant battles, the “broad gauge” side eventually won. In 1878, in light of an expanded focus, the college permanently changed its name to Ohio State University.

But that wasn't the only battle for OSU, because the school was also under fire from other schools within the state of Ohio. Both Miami University and Ohio University were considered more prestigious institutions at the time -- and they were justifiably upset to not be selected as THE state university and the recipient of government allocations. Former U.S. President Rutherford B. Hayes lobbied hard for monies for Tosu, mocked the other schools, and basically browbeat the state legislature to give the new institution a prominent position above Miami and OU. In the end, the state legislature settled the issue by declaring Ohio State as the only school that would be allowed to offer doctoral degrees. Miami and Ohio would be limited to Bachelor and Masters Programs.  This also established the proud Tosu trend of bullies named Hayes bringing their school glory.

Location - Columbus, Ohio.  The city - named after the lost explorer - is the capitol and largest in the state of Ohio. Many folks are surprised to learn that C-bus is the biggest because the cities of Cleveland and Cincinnati are more well known, home to major league sports teams and not the center of evil in the known universe.  According to Benny's 2007 KYF, Columbus has kept its largest city in Ohio title by bullying the few surrounding suburbs into annexation in exchange for sewer and water service that the city controls.

Nickname -  The Buckeye is the official state tree and a creative term of endearment for the pioneers on the Ohio frontier.  Apparently, one of the first acts of the original settlers was to cut one of these stinky trees down and somehow this led to calling themselves buckeyes since. The leaves appear in a five-leaf cluster, and the fruit (nut) resembles the eye of a deer, thus the name: buck-eye.  It’s poisonous to humans, horses, cattle, and coaches as it apparently causes them to punch opposing players and lie to the NCAA.

Coincidentally, there is a city in the U.S. named Buckeye, though it's in Arizona, not Ohio.

Mascot - In 1965, Ohio State students Ray Bourhis and Sally Huber decided Ohio State needed a “game day” mascot and persuaded the athletic council to study the matter. At the time, mascots were commonly live animals brought into the stadium or arena. A buck deer was contemplated but that idea was eventually rejected given the impossible logistics of keeping a deer calm in a large crowd (even a deer can only hear so many f-bombs before losing its shit).

Instead, they went with a 40-pound paper-maché buckeye nut which was worn over the head and torso, with legs sticking out.  They named him Brutus Buckeye. He made its initial appearance at the 1965 homecoming football game against Minnesota. The heavy costume did not last long and it was soon replaced by a more permanent and durable fiberglass shell. Sometime during the 1970’s they added a baseball cap to the bucknut with limbs. Today Brutus looks like something out of a muppet nightmare, frightens anyone he comes in contact with, angers other mascots into an uncontrollable rage and causes still others to do this on YouTube.

Thing Atop A Fast Foot Restaurant Brutus...Lonely Brutus...Asshole Frat Guy Brutus

Colors - Scarlet and Gray. The official colors were selected by three students in 1878. The reasoning for the combination was that they were a “pleasing combination” and weren’t being used by any other college. The original selection of orange and black was shot down when the students discovered that Princeton used those colors. This was the closest Ohio State has ever come to being confused with Princeton.

Logo/Helmet - The primary athletic Ohio State logo from 1957 to 1987 was a simple, yet enduring block “O”. Since 1987 they have added a more modern “Ohio State” arched through the middle. They have a ton of secondary logos, the most common combining the classic “O” with a buckeye leaf and nut.

One should be careful, however, not to confuse the official school logo with their now-more-well-know logo, The Buckstache.

Normally, the Buckeye's have their distinctive silver bullet helmet design.  It had been unchanged since 1968 until Nike got involved and OSU whored-out The Game with "special" and "Pro-Combat" uniforms the last couple years.  Thankfully, they'll be returning to tradition tomorrow.  They also love to award their little pot-leaf Buckeye Leaf helmet stickers.  The design was "originally drawn in 1950 by alum and comic strip artist Milton Caniff and was intended to represent the buckeye tree as a symbol for strength and sturdiness of all Ohio State students.  The first Buckeye leaf decal appeared on the helmets of the 1967 OSU football team and are still given to players today for execution of an exceptional play on the field." They're now trademarked by the school.

Fight Song - In 1915, OSU student William A. Dougherty, Jr., set out to write the perfect fight song for his school. Dougherty felt that something more exciting was needed for pep rallies and football games than the sad melancholy Carmen Ohio (which sounds like something the students would sing in Dead Poets Society).  Thus, Across the Field was born.  It debuted on October 16, 1915 against Illinois and has not stopped playing since (although it is important to note that they had to wait another 4 years before they could play it during a win against Michigan).

While this is the main fight song, Buckeye Battle Cry is played after touchdowns (meaning Tosu fans haven't heard it a lot this season).  Fan favorite Hang on Sloopy (NOT Snoopy) is played every home game and no mention of anything to do with the Ohio State music would be complete without a mention of Script O-lie-o Ohio in which their marching band boldly steps onto the field and performs a move they initially learned from the Michigan Marching Band.

As much as it pains me to say it, I think OSU's fight song and Battle Cry are top notch.  And if you've ever been in the 'Shoe when Hang on Sloopy plays, it's pretty darn cool.  Okay, enough compliments.  Let's take a look at OSU academics.

So there's that

Academics - According to the latest U.S. News & World Report rankings, OSU is #55, tied with Pepperdine and U of M (puh-LEASE:  Maryland) and their acceptance rate is 68%.  But they did rank 8th in U.S. News' "Up and Coming" colleges section, tied with Ball State and a notch ahead of Biola University.  So from everybody here at the MZone, congrats and good luck with that, OSU! 

Athletics - Few schools have the athletic tradition of Ohio State. They currently field 36 varsity teams and are one of only three universities (Michigan and Cal-Berkeley being the others) to have won national championships in the big three sports (football, men's basketball, and baseball).

In 2007, Sports Illustrated nicknamed Ohio State's athletic program as being "The Program" due to the unsurpassed facilities, unparalleled amount of men's and women's sport teams, their success, and the financial support of an impressive fan base."  Gee, after The Downfall, I wonder if they'd still say today?  

Exceptional former athletes at Ohio State include Olympic Gold Medalist and Dude Who Made Hitler Eat Crow Jesse Owens, NBA greats John Havlicek and Jerry Lucas, college basketball coaching legend and chair-thrower Bobby Knight, and golf superstar Jack Nicklaus (attended, did not graduate).

Football - It is in football that most people recognize and associate Ohio State. They’ve won five recognized national championships, including most recently the 2002 crown. They’ve won 34 Big Ten titles (a number I didn't have to update after last years KYF due to their season being wiped away). They have a combined seven Heisman Trophies including the only two-time winner: Archie Griffin in 1974 and 1975.  They have produced many NFL stars and college and pro football Hall of Famers. Famous names you might recognize include Jim Otis, Jack Tatum, Eddie George, Chris Spielman, Orlando Pace, and Cris Carter. Recent NFL first round draft picks include Chris "Beanie" Wells, Malcom Jenkins, Vernon Gholston, Anthony Gonzales, and Teddy Ginn Jr.

However, Ohio State is football probably most well known as a place that once-great coaches eventually are forced out in disgrace.  The two most iconic coaches in the school's history met such a fate: Woody Hayes for punching a Clemson football player after he intercepted Art Schlichter;  and Jim Tressel who "forgot" to tell his bosses, oh, 642 times about his players associating with shady characters, selling merchandise and lying to the NCAA.

Famous Alums - As you would expect, Ohio State has a long and somewhat impressive list of famous alums. They have many successful CEOs and political leaders. They have produced two Nobel Peace prize winners and have accumulated 10 Pulitzers. Recognizable names include former UofM President Harlan Hatcher, Tuskegee Airmen Squadron Commander Harold Brown, WWII Medal of Honor winner Robert Scott, Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center co-founder Charles Kettering, Goosebumps author RL Stine, Windex inventor Harry Drackett, Shoney’s founder Alex Schoenbaum, ESPN SportsCenter director Vince Doria, Actress Patricia Heaton, annoying comedian Richard Lewis, Rascal Flatts lead singer Gary LeVox, Ric Ocasek from The Cars, country singer Dwight Yoakim, Baseball Hall of Fame sportscaster Jack Buck, and the co-founder of Wikipedia Larry Sanger. They also provided an education to serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer. By far the most humorous and ironic name I find on this list is Teflon inventor Roy Plunkett which is probably why it took so long for folks to finally realize the truth about Tressel.

As much as Michigan fans don't want to admit it, Bo Schembechler has a graduate degree from Ohio State. From his coaching days under Woody, he also has a pair of those little gold-pants charms they give out for beating Michigan but never tried to sell his on eBay.

KYF counted at least four NASA astronauts, there may be more. And although the state of Ohio has produced eight US Presidents (William Henry Harrison, Ulysses S. Grant, Rutherford B. Hayes, James A Garfield, Benjamin Harrison, William McKinley, William Howard Taft, and Warren Harding) -- none of them attended or graduated from Ohio State.  But they are an "Up and Coming" school.  So who knows what the future holds.

The Game - The stakes in this game are huge...for Michigan. The pressure is all on U-M since they haven't beaten OSU since 2003* and this year's Buckeye squad is, frankly, not that good.  The feeling by many is, if not now, when?  Ohio State's offense is currently ranked 108th in the country.  Basically, their offense is where Michigan's defense was last year.  They're starting a freshman QB and are led by a soon-to-be-replaced coach.  The odds couldn't be any more in Michigan's favor...which scares the hell out of me.  Pre-The Dark Period, I wouldn't be that worried.  But the albatross of The Streak makes the biggest obstacle to victory, I believe, mental.  Plus, it's The Game.  Anything can happen.

But not tomorrow.  Not in The Big House.  Not with Team 132.  I think it'll be close - closer than we'd like, hope for or expect - but they have nothing to lose.  Yet lose they will.

Michigan - 24
Ohio State - 17

Luke Fickell talks to his team before the Michigan-Ohio State game

In an MZone exclusive, we have obtained the video below of soon-to-be-fired Ohio State football coach Luke Fickell addressing the Buckeyes for this week's big Michigan-Ohio State game. 

As you can tell, the man is a motivational master. 



Note: I was going to start a "Luke Fickell" tag for posts about him here at the MZone. But then I realized, what's the point?

Something to share with your Ohio friends this week

In honor of Michigan-Ohio Week, we reach back into the MZone Archives for one of your favorites.  Below is a little something you can pass on to your Buckeye friends this week (and really, throughout the year).  

You're welcome!

First there was the ESPN "Without sports" commercial of the Ohio State/Michigan couple making out on the couch. Now comes this one...

What the Columbus Dispatch should look like

Earlier this week, we mentioned how OSU's homer hometown newspaper, The Columbus Dispatch, apparently forgot the Buckeyes had a game on Saturday (granted, it was hard to tell based on what transpired in the 'Shoe vs. MSU).

As we also pointed out, the Dispatch is the paper that has the daily counter keeping track of the "days since Michigan's last victory over Ohio State in football."  And it's all done with nary an asterisk or hint of shame to be found in the wake of the latest scandals (plural). 

So following the most recent (on top of the other recent) violations -- or as they call them around the OSU athletic department, "individual failures" -- we at the MZone have huddled with our design team to produce a new masthead and sample page of what the Dispatch should look like.  Well, what it should look like if they were an actual paper and not a pro-Tosu blog printed on paper.

Nobody at Ohio State looks like themselves this year

We knew Tosu* wouldn't be the same this season now that they can't cheat Jim Tressel was fired forced out retired and Terrelle Pryor had to quit because he was going to be banned this year anyway left for the NFL.  But just how bad things have gotten in C-bus is only now becoming apparent.  Yesterday, Tosu* lost to MSU in what one Buckeye tweeted was "a 10-7 blowout." 

And the little nut is right.  It wasn't that close.  The Buckeye offense is pathetic, their defense is suspect and the coaching is only temporary.

Yet just when I thought it couldn't get any worse at Tosu*, I saw what has become of Brutus Buckeye this season.  Just sad.

Yes, these are indeed dark days in Columbus. Or was we call them in A2, karma.

U-M/ND game was "Under the Lights," Miami/OSU is "Under Investigation"

(from MZone wire reports)  Coral Gables, FL -- After the success of the Michigan-Notre Dame game being marketed as "Under the Lights" to mark the first night game in Big House history, school officials at Miami and Ohio State have decided to rename their upcoming game "Under Investigation" in a nod to both schools' ongoing problems with the NCAA.

"It's branding at its best," said Ohio State athletic director and Jim Tressel apologist, Gene Smith.  "The Michigan and Notre Dame contest had a logo and commemorative shirts.  We wanted to do the same thing for our game.  I just hope each team has enough eligible players to actually play the damn thing."

Miami AD Shawn Eichorst couldn't be reached for comment as head was apparently still buried in the sand somewhere near South Beach.

In an online exclusive, MZone investigative reporter Rigby has secretly obtained the new logos to be used for this once in a life-time showdown (because Miami just may get the death penalty): 

Ohio State Still Doesn't Get It

Talk about hypocrisy.

When we last left our friends in C-bus, they were throwing disgraced former coach Jim Tressel under the bus to the NCAA, saying he - and he alone - was responsible for the violations Ohio State* now finds itself faced with.

Gee, how things change in two weeks.

In the last week, a tribute to The Dirty Vest was added to the main hallway of the Woody Hayes Athletic Center.  According to the Dispatch article linked above, "included are such statistics as his career record at Youngstown State and Ohio State, national championships, Big Ten championships, record against Michigan, All-Americans and Academic All-Americans. Below that are photos from various seasons."

Here's a pic:

Wow.

I'm still trying to decide if this is Tosu* being utterly clueless, arrogant beyond words, or a giant heaping mixture of both. 

I thought the official word out of C-bus was that Sweaterboy was solely to blame and Tosu* utterly ashamed of the current mess.  If that's the case, how the hell does a school do this mere days after the man in the shrine went before the NCAA to admit that he was a cheater?  Or school officials simply that stupid as to how this appears?  (it is OSU*, after all).  I guess when Gene "See no evil" Smith and Gordon "I hope the coach doesn't fire me" Gee are in charge, any combination of the above shouldn't come as a surprise.

Your move, NCAA.  I can only hope that you "enshrine" The Dirty Vest's "accomplishments" by giving Tosu fans some sanctions with teeth to remember him by. 

O. S. U...Tube

We admit there are a lot of YouTube vids by OSU* fans posted here on the MZone.  But it's not our fault.  Honest.  We simply work with what the comedy gods giveth.

Truth is, our crack research team searches just as hard for the crazy or out-there Michigan clips.  However, we usually find things like this...



Sure, it's fine. It's okay. It's...whatever.

But the vids posted by Tosu* fans are, shall we say, different.   And plentiful.  Now that so many in Buckeye Nation Unincorporated Township have finally gotten rid of their AOL dial-up accounts, there is a YouTube glut of these folks sharing their Tosu* pride - usually sans filter. 

For example, last fall, we were traumatized by Mascot Man who sucked so bad he was awesome in a Showgirls kinda way.  There's Jessi-slash-Stretchy Buckeye who, well, this.  And who can forget the Sleepy Rappers?  Not us.

Face it, some dude humming The Victors on a whistle pop just doesn't seem worth posting when up against that kind of competition.

Then there are the Buckeye jackhats who, in their own, limited, f-bomb laden words, say O-H S-O much about the Tosu* fan base.  Like the articulate young man in the videos below.

First, he made the following "test video" in order to familiarize himself with the cutting edge world of YouTube:



Having conquered the intricate YouTube technology with his six second masterpiece above, this deep thinker then proceeded to share his wit and college football wisdom with the world.  Behold the genius...



Favorite line: "You see that fuckin' helmet back there? That's what we do, baby."

Uh, Fathead wall stickers in your room at your mom's house? I'm confused.

Buckeye Fans and Their Newspapers: Spelling Opshunel

Gotta love it when the comedy writes itself.  Or, in this case, does so incorrectly.

Just got the following email:

Hey Guys,

Big Michigan fan from down here in Columbus Ohio. I was on the Columbus Dispatch website (http://www.dispatch.com/) and then the Buckeyextra website (http://www.buckeyextra.com/content/) and found something interesting about the header they were using on the site. It shows a picture of four fans with OHIO spelled across their shirts. The only problem is, they were spelling O-I-O-O with their hands. This is not photoshopped. Go to their website and see for yourself.

Take care and GO BLUE!

Darin

Indeed, Darin  is correct.  It's on the site.  Check it out before a Tosu* grad with a Master's Degree from somewhere else spots the mistake and they change it.

Yep, THE Ohio State University.

There are also some standards of journalism at the Dispatch that I also question.   To wit, they still have their little counter in the corner stating it's been 2820 days* since Michigan's last victory over Ohio State in football.  But if they had any journalistic integrity it would read: "Days since Ohio State's last victory over Michigan without cheating and not counting vacated years: Unknown"

P.S.  SiC, you and Darin should meet up and form some sort of displaced Wolverine buddy system down there for safety purposes.

MZone Summer Close-Out Contest: Predict the Penalty in C-bus

As we get set to close out the off-season and turn our attention to Meeeechigan's 2011 campaign, we would be remiss if we didn't take at least one more look back at all the problems at Tosu* which have provided us with so much material during the summer.  If not for Tatgate-turned-Tresselgate, we'd have gone dark more times than that Spider-Man musical on Broadway.

With Tosu* set to go before the NCAA committee on infractions August 12th, frequent contributor SiC suggested we have a contest in which MZone readers attempt to predict what further penalties (if any) will be leveled against the Buckeyes.

Excellent idea!

So gaze into your crystal balls and let us know whether you think the NCAA is going to drop the hammer or give Gene Smith & Co. a big ol' sloppy wet kiss.

Personally, I think it'll go something like this...

It's Chinatown
Chinatown at MOVIECLIPS.com

"It's Columbustown, Jake."

Terrelle Pryor's legacy summed up in one picture

Yes, a picture really is worth a thousand words.  MZone reader Doug sent us the pic below from a sporting goods store in Ohio. 

The Terrelle Pryor Story: From Heisman candidate to the clearance rack

Wonder how the red vests are selling?

Damn right I'm a Jim Tressel fan...for $11 bucks!

Our top secret spy behind enemy lines in Columbus, SiC, who sent us the pic earlier this week of the Sugar Bowl shirts on sale, has sent us another.

I guess those Tressel hats ain't fetching what they used to!

P.S. No, I don't have any idea where the hell SiC saw this. Judging by the background, it looks like he was shopping at someone's garage sale.  Then again, this looks like exactly the sort of place that would sell a hat like this.

MZone Art History: Mona Lisa After One Semester at Ohio State

The MZone isn't just about crass, low-brow humor. Far from it. We also seek to enlighten. Case in point, the inaugural edition today of a new feature we like to call MZone Art History.

Enjoy. Learn. Laugh.

Buckeye fan wants to literally "F*ck Michigan"

If you've ever spent any time around Buckeye fans (sorry), then you're familiar with their love of the phrase "Fuck Michigan."  From screaming it in your face near the 'Shoe to tee shirts with the words splashed across the front, it's practically (and pathetically) the official school chant.  In fact, I think Tosu* fans prefer "Fuck Michigan!" to "Go Bucks!" 

Typical Tosu*.

And then there's the ball of class with this tattoo...

According to tipster who sent it to Deadspin, the body art above belongs to one of his co-workers whom he described exactly as you'd expect somebody with this on him to be described:

Basically he is the biggest bigot/redneck to have ever walked this earth but that's makes him so goddamned adorable. We live in Columbus and he would happily chop his own dick off to bring Tressel back. This is also the same kid who claims to have, in his own words, achieved the "unpossible" because he was entirely convinced that he had smoked so much weed his poop turned green. So yeah, go Bucks, I guess?

Yeah, those bigots are oh-so cuddly and cute, aren't they? 

Seriously, is there any doubt this guy is a complete asshat?  Really?  You doubt it?  Look at the tattoo again.  The man paid money to have someone permanently put a tattoo of a giant nut mascot - with its pants unbuckled for realism - anally raping a wolverine.  Apparently "Fuck Michigan" wasn't classy enough for this guy so he decided to go full-on visual sodomy.

How "adorable."

On second thought, I'm now guessing that "bigot" is probably one of the nicer things you can say about this dude.

(HT: NR and others)

New Arrival

In the wake of yesterday's news that the all the wins from the 2010 season will be vacated, Columbus retailers are scrambling to get the latest "Fuck Michigan" shirt on their shelves.

Downfall: OSU vacates entire 2010 season

More to come but had to get something up about the carnage in Columbus.  As you've probably heard by now, Ohio State vacated every win from its 2010 season and gave itself 2 years probation.

In a response submitted today to the NCAA, Ohio State admits allegations that then-coach Jim Tressel lied and allowed ineligible players to compete by failing to report that they had sold OSU-issued memorabilia to a tattoo-parlor owner.

But my favorite part of the Dispatch story linked above was this paragraph:

"The responsibility is upon Tressel. No other institutional personnel were aware" of the violations, and the former coach failed in his obligation to report them, the response says. "The institution is embarrassed by the actions of Tressel."

(emphasis MZone)

Gee, when your own school is "embarrassed" by you, that's pretty bad...and also a damn good excuse to repost Vestocchio!