"I like Ohio State. It's my number one bathroom...I take poops in."

What is it with Buckeye fans and their YouTube videos?   I know, I know -- it seems like I say this each time I find and post one of these things.  But it really is like they have no concept that the entire world can see this crap.

Oh, you think I'm exaggerating?  Fine.  Watch...



See what I mean?  Simply stunning.

I'm just glad the video ended when it did. Especially after he started talking about his "saddlebags" and the camera tilted down.

What the Columbus Dispatch should look like

Earlier this week, we mentioned how OSU's homer hometown newspaper, The Columbus Dispatch, apparently forgot the Buckeyes had a game on Saturday (granted, it was hard to tell based on what transpired in the 'Shoe vs. MSU).

As we also pointed out, the Dispatch is the paper that has the daily counter keeping track of the "days since Michigan's last victory over Ohio State in football."  And it's all done with nary an asterisk or hint of shame to be found in the wake of the latest scandals (plural). 

So following the most recent (on top of the other recent) violations -- or as they call them around the OSU athletic department, "individual failures" -- we at the MZone have huddled with our design team to produce a new masthead and sample page of what the Dispatch should look like.  Well, what it should look like if they were an actual paper and not a pro-Tosu blog printed on paper.

MZone Poll: In The Big House

I like it. Hell, I like it a lot.
There, I said it: I like the song IN THE BIG HOUSE by Pop Evil. And in talking to my Michigan friends, they like it, too.

But that can't be.  The dean of Michigan bloggers, Brian at MGoBlog, who judging by his posts on the subject would prefer somebody dig up Woody Hayes and place the rotted corpse at his kitchen table, recently declared that "everyone hates" IN THE BIG HOUSE.

Really?

The votes on the two most watched YouTube videos for the song (one with 136K views, the other with nearly 60K) are overwhelmingly "thumbs up" (875 likes vs. 30 dislikes on one, 462 vs. 15 on the other). It received a 5 star rating from listeners on iTunes thus far.  And, probably most importantly, apparently the players like it.

Yet Brian likens IN THE BIG HOUSE to, uh, things like...this from ND.  Now, you can not like IN THE BIG HOUSE.  You can even dislike it.  But to compare it to that...song?  Seems like comparing apples to orange-colored musical vomit.

I wonder if Brian's dislike hatred jihad against the song has anything to do with the band behind it.  They're some blue collar heavy metal road band from Michigan that I - and I'm guessing most of you - never heard of before IN THE BIG HOUSE.  And I don't know Brian personally or his musical tastes.  But judging by some of his posts, I wonder if IN THE BIG HOUSE was instead sung by Morrissey and a little more plaintive - rather than by a group that sounds like the opening act on the Kalamazoo stop of Motley Crue's 7th 8th 23rd comeback tour - he'd like it more.  Don't know.

Hey, I agree with Brian on most matters Michigan: I'm not really a fan of the numbers on the side of the helmet, but whatever;  I loathed the "halo" around the stadium; I absolutely hate the idea of some dude in a fuzzy suit roaming the Big House sidelines calling himself "Michigan's mascot"; and I also went to Bo's gravesite to give thanks when Rich Rodriguez got canned (okay, three out of four).

But I totally disagree with him on this one.

So what do MZone readers think?  I'm curious.  I know this isn't a scientific poll, but I'd love to know how our readers feel.  Below is the song via one of the YouTube videos and in the upper righthand corner of the main page is a place to vote yea/yeah/yay or nay on the song.  So cast your ballot then leave your thoughts in the comments section.

Michigan RB Coach Fred Jackson: Through the Years

Much has been made around the Michigan blogosphere about running back coach Fred Jackson's longevity on the U-M staff.  But we didn't realize just how long he's been in A2 until we started going back through the U-M football archives.  His uninterrupted tenure is nothing short of stunning.

So today, we honor this iron man of maize and blue coaches with a look back at his never-ending career in our MZone exclusive:

Fred Jackson: Through the Years

1902 team photo showing Fred Jackson (far right) during his 6th season in A2

Fred Jackson and Fielding Yost at Michigan Stadium construction site in 1927

Fielding Yost shows off newly built Michigan Stadium to Fred Jackson

Fred Jackson praises Tom Harmon in 1939 TIME interview

Fred Jackson lavishes more praise on U-M backs in '56 SI story

Fred Jackson and Don Canham at the press conference announcing Bo's hiring

If an Ohio State game falls in the forest but the Dispatch doesn't cover it...

If you've never read it before, The Columbus Dispatch defines the hometown homer newspaper.  They have a daily update keeping track of the "days since Michigan's last victory over Ohio State in football"(with nary an asterisk or hint of shame to be found in the wake of the latest scandals).  Hell, it was an open secret in C-bus about the tats and other transgressions under Vestocchio, but the paper had its nose so far up Brutus's ass, they never saw a thing.

Yes, what Pravda was to the former Soviet Union, the Dispatch is to Tosu*.  Which is why I got a chuckle yesterday after reading an email from our pal, Surrounded in Columbus (who, as his screen name indicates, is a Michigan fan living in the belly of the beast).  In the wake of Ohio State's 10-7 loss to MSU, he sent us a picture of the front page of Sunday's Dispatch along with the following:

Sorta like "Where's Waldo?", this is "Where's the Buckeye?" headline.

First time in years that the tosu game is NOT a front page story. Quarter inch banner and reference to the sports section?  Unheard of.

It's a very quiet morning in Cowtown.

UPDATE: Something tells me the football team will be on the front page tomorrow!

Seriously, (Little) Dude?

Last week, we put up this post about the Michigan fan flying the double bird at the BTN cameras during the SDSU game.  This week, we think we've met his son.

A late night YouTube tour turned up this video titled "It starts at birth"...



The clip's description put up by poster "DangerousHall" on YouTube reads:

While reluctantly watching the MSU/OSU game I asked my son if he was rooting for Michigan State or Ohio State. His response was "Fuck State." I wish I had coached him to say that, but it was his response to my question. I had to pull out the camera and get some proof, so here's my son using inappropriate language in the most appropriate manor.

Uh, I'm no child psychologist but I'm going to go out on a limb and point out that when you're telling your kid to "Keep saying it" and asking him "Are you saying fuck State?" and topping it all off by encouraging him to "Say fuck State!" then it sounds a little bit like coaching.  I'm just sayin'.

So while I didn't major in psych at Michigan, in my humble opinion, it doesn't start at birth. I'm gonna venture a guess and say it begins when Junior starts copying dad and realizing dad thinks it's a stitch.  It starts when a little boy figures out that when he says "that word" his dad whips out the video camera to record those f-bombs for the world to see.  Again, that's just my non-professional opinion. 

Unfortunately, the saddest part about this whole thing is I think that the Father of the Year candidate heard on the above vid is a Michigan fan.  Just a guess judging by the "while reluctantly watching the MSU/OSU game" line in the description and the "University of Michigan" listing in the TAGS section.

On a positive note, if "DangerousHall" is single, we think we've found a soulmate for him.

Nobody at Ohio State looks like themselves this year

We knew Tosu* wouldn't be the same this season now that they can't cheat Jim Tressel was fired forced out retired and Terrelle Pryor had to quit because he was going to be banned this year anyway left for the NFL.  But just how bad things have gotten in C-bus is only now becoming apparent.  Yesterday, Tosu* lost to MSU in what one Buckeye tweeted was "a 10-7 blowout." 

And the little nut is right.  It wasn't that close.  The Buckeye offense is pathetic, their defense is suspect and the coaching is only temporary.

Yet just when I thought it couldn't get any worse at Tosu*, I saw what has become of Brutus Buckeye this season.  Just sad.

Yes, these are indeed dark days in Columbus. Or was we call them in A2, karma.